Thank you for taking out of your time to peak into my mind and thoughts, I hope what I share with you makes your day brighter and warmer…
As a kid, my family and friends always said I could never lose an argument, not because I had a good point but because I never stopped… as we would say in Nigeria, “na you go tire”
I basically beat everyone into submission by talking too much. Thankfully, as I grew older, I refined my arguments to actually have salient points or at least express my own understanding. Therefore, despite my t-shirt that reads “I am not arguing, I am only explaining to you why I am right”, I hope I no longer indulge in baseless arguments but actually have conversations and discussions.
I have a great friend who calls it that… discussions and conversations not arguments. And I agree with him cause words have power… if you go into it thinking it’s an argument, your mind is already closed off to the other person’s opinion and you only want to convince someone or state your point. However, in a conversation, listening is as important as speaking and you don’t have to convince anyone.
However, as the title of today’s piece states, “disagreement is not discord”, I would ARGUE that you can and should have conversations and discussions with different view points as part of health interactions and to build relationships i.e. you should argue… the key is not to internalize a difference of opinion as an attack on your person.
So yeah, arguments are good. But, don’t just take my words on it; Adam Grant, a renowned organizational psychologist once posted:
And, like Adam said, that is the greatest part of “arguing”, the chance to learn… both from each other but also when you try to make your point.
It is intellectual sparring and as my sensei would say there is the only one way to improve your fighting skills… by fighting!!!
I mean the benefits of arguments are so self evident, that we have debate clubs, we structure litigation as a trial and we have political candidates have electoral debates.
Therefore, I welcome conversations about my faith, Jesus Christ and religion; I like to discuss slavery, racism and inequality; And I would ARGUE with anyone about the importance of mental health over material wealth. But, in conclusion, our disagreement, there of, does not mean I hate you or I can’t relate with you… rather, I prefer a candid conversation and respect and appreciate your difference.